What is the difference between the best compliment you’ve ever received and the best compliment you’ve ever received but didn’t believe?
The difference was likely you. The difference was likely what you allowed—or didn’t allow—to become part of your experience. It could be Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter Syndrome, recognized since the 1970s, is a psychological pattern in which individuals doubt their skills, talents or accomplishments and have a persistent, internal fear of being exposed as a fraud.
Perhaps you’ve experienced Imposter Syndrome while up for a promotion and questioned your experience, were interested in someone and doubted your attractiveness, prepared for a presentation and overthought your tone and words, or changed industries and worried about how you’d be received. It boils down to doubt, hesitation, silencing ideas, waiting and a lack of self-esteem or confidence.
While more women than men report feeling like “imposters,” these individuals aren’t intentionally deceiving others. Instead, they live—often unnecessarily—in a world filled with self-questioning. They focus on doubts and hesitations, even though each of us holds the answers within ourselves, if we’re willing to listen.
To CRUSH the cultivated hesitation from insecure memories or fears, follow these steps:
C – Choosy
R – Realistic
U – Unapologetic
S – Show Up
H – Happy
Be Choosy. Pay close attention to your environment and the people around you. Some settings, and individuals, won’t bring out your best. Even your clothing choices matter—everything is a choice, so choose what’s right for you, not for others. If pressured or criticized, assess comments carefully for truth and kindness. Take constructive feedback but ignore negativity. People often pose the biggest challenge—whether at school, work, home or elsewhere—if they lack confidence and try to diminish others. Avoid cynicism, gossip and negativity, as these attitudes can fuel Imposter Syndrome.
Be Realistic. Perfection is not the goal. Aim to know, grow and utilize your strengths. Acknowledge limitations honestly—for example, at 5’2″ and in my 50s, I won’t be playing in the WNBA anytime soon. The popular saying, “If you believe it, you can do it,” while motivational, can set unrealistic expectations. A more accurate approach: “If we have the ability and capacity, we can do it.” Focus on what’s achievable. Constant failure reinforces doubt, insecurity and hesitation. Replace internal negativity with affirmations of capability.
Be Unapologetic. You’re skilled in many areas. Do those things well and don’t shy away from praise. Embrace humility with confidence. If faced with unsettling comments or backhanded compliments, respond politely and gratefully: “Thanks for letting me know how you feel,” or “Thanks for sharing your perspective.” Accept sincere compliments with genuine thanks. Respect others’ opinions without letting negativity diminish your self-worth. Internal pride and outward confidence should reflect your talents.
Show Up. Showing up sounds easy but can be challenging. Remember choice, realism and being unapologetic as you honor commitments you’ve willingly made. Embrace being perfectly yourself; no one else can fill your role. Participating fully in life’s opportunities and supporting others diminishes feelings of Imposter Syndrome. Genuine happiness and support for others inspire reciprocal positivity and strengthen your own self-image.
Be Happy. While simple in concept, achieving happiness requires ongoing personal effort. Approximately 20% of U.S. adults report frequent loneliness, a feeling that can hinder happiness. True happiness stems from personal responsibility and meaningful accomplishments. Happiness arises from relationships that uplift and encourage.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome involves embracing your authentic self—your best, perfectly imperfect self. True joy doesn’t come from unattainable perfection; it emerges when Imposter Syndrome gives way to confidently saying, “I do me,” letting doubts and fears fall away.
Debbie Lundberg, Performance & Mindset Coach “Embracing & encouraging life-long
kindness, growth, fun & ROI.”Contact her at 813.494.4438 or
[email protected]
