Dear Debbie:
A few months ago, you shared how to be a sponsor and speak up. I love it and, yet, sometimes when I get feedback, I get embarrassed and don’t know how to respond. How can I express my regret, and embarrassment, without making the other person feel awkward?
Thank you,
Imperfect, Embarrassed Feedback Recipient
Hello Imperfect, Embarrassed Feedback Recipient!
You are honest, and kind, to admit your imperfection as well as your desire to know how to handle those misses that can make for an uncomfortable situation if not handled well. Most of us have been there, so it’s wonderful to share some tips for receiving feedback.
Often it feels like criticism and one of the best things to do is TAKE the feedback through some of the following approaches:
T – Thank the person
A – Ask for clarification/example
K – Keep calm & focused
E – Explain next steps in terms of feedback
Keeping the TAKE approach in mind, here are three scenarios for more consideration:
If you agree with what was said and understand it:
– Thank you. Your feedback is useful, and I will mindfully change that. Please know I will handle it from here.
– Thank you for your perspective and your kind sharing. I will now apologize and adjust my approach.
If you are surprised, or unsure, of the validity, stay open by sharing:
– That’s interesting you mention that, please share more.
– That’s something I have/haven’t thought of and what I’ll now do is…
– Okay. Please give me an example for clarity.
– Thank you. Please walk me through that so I can learn and grow.
If you are surprised and do not agree at all, consider:
– Thank you. Your feedback is interesting and I’ll be mindful of my approach moving forward.
– Thank you for your perspective and your kind sharing, as we all see/hear things differently. I will check with NAME (possibly offended person) directly.
So, if you receive feedback about being abrupt or off-putting, TAKE it, and then move forward without dwelling on the negative or defending your actions, tone or words so that you can be present, purposeful and you can keep growing in your personal and professional leadership.
Cheers to a super week,
Debbie
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Debbie Lundberg is the founder and chief executive officer of the Florida-based firm Presenting Powerfully, where she delivers keynotes, facilitation, teaching and coaching. As a 12-time published author, certified virtual presenter, certified life coach, certified leadership coach and certified image consultant, Lundberg co-hosts the Business of Life Master Class podcast. Her book, Remote Work Rockstar, is a guidebook for working, and leading, virtually. She recently ended a four-year commitment as chair of the American Heart Association’s Circle of Red, in order to serve on the Patient and Family Advisory Council for Tampa General Hospital.