Hello Debbie!
In February, many of my work, and personal, interactions had people asking me about my relationship and sometimes the inquiries were difficult to address.
As an introvert who enjoys down time, and someone who happens to be single right now, these two questions are challenging, and I’d like mindset coaching and responses that keep my successful professional career/brand intact, too:
-Anything exciting planned for the weekend/Valentine’s Day?
-How is it that you are still single?
-Don’t you want to be happy – give “NAME” a chance!
Thank you,
Savvy, single and sick of these questions
Hello there, Savvy, single and sick of these questions!
You are not alone in being alone and you are not the only person, single or otherwise, who does not like this intrusive/presumptuous type of questioning. Thanks for sharing.
From a mindset perspective, get a mantra for yourself such as “I am doing and being my best, and my best serves me well” or “I am me, and others are them, and while we interact, they do not impact my self-confidence.” Using that type of mantra throughout the day will feed thoughts to yourself for a strong foundation, as you engage in conversations and situations. When we feel centered, we can handle people coming at us for what they are – imperfect humans, just as we are.
Remember that you owe people nothing. Still, if you want to have open dialogue with the people asking these terribly worded questions, or statements, here are some replies to consider.
Anything exciting planned for the weekend: “Something exciting for me is to spend time with my family and that is what I am looking forward to doing. How about you?” or “Since the weekend is a time for me to recharge, spending time organizing my home is going to be very productive and enjoyable. Hope you have something on the agenda you will enjoy, too!”
How is it that you are still single? “While it can seem like being single is the equivalent of being unhappy, please know I appreciate you mean that as a compliment and yet, I am not unhappy in this season of my life,” or “How I stay single is by staying open to people and opportunities and, when those individuals and experience arise, I absolutely engage. What is something you enjoy about how you and your partner met?”
Don’t you want to be happy – give “NAME” a chance! “Thanks for thinking of “NAME” and me when you think of connecting people. Since happiness is a state of mind and action, I am going to pass for now and will let you know if something changes. Meanwhile, best wishes to “NAME!”
People innately want to engage and likely don’t mean to mettle, yet you, and others, know those questions can be baiting in how they are positioned. By not taking the bait, you can be single, savvy and still not stubbornly arguing with people.
Kindly, Debbie –
Debbie Lundberg, Performance & Mindset Coach “Embracing & encouraging life-long
kindness, growth, fun & ROI.” Contact her at 813.494.4438 or [email protected]