If you’re in sales, chances are you’ve experienced stalled deals, prospects who ghost you and polite conversations that go nowhere. You prepare your presentation and showcase your value, yet nothing sticks.
The real issue? You’re treating symptoms, not root causes.
The biggest mistake in sales is assuming your prospect fully understands the depth of their own problem or that they’ll reveal it without being asked the right questions.
This is where the ability to uncover true pain becomes your most powerful tool. It’s about guiding your prospect on a journey from surface-level complaints to a personal, emotional commitment to change.
The Journey Through Pain
Think of uncovering a prospect’s pain as navigating a maze—not one meant to trap, but one designed to reveal the best path forward. At every turn, you help prospects clarify their thoughts, challenges and what’s truly at stake.
Step 1: Break the Ice, Not the Trust
Every successful sales conversation starts with trust. That means your opening questions should feel conversational, not interrogational. Start soft, build rapport and show genuine curiosity, not just a desire to close the deal.
Step 2: Surface Problems Aren’t the Whole Story
Once you’ve built rapport, ask more substantive questions that reveal initial frustrations or challenges, like:
- “Can you give me an example?”
- “Tell me more about that…”
These questions help to move the conversation from vague complaints to specific, relatable problems. But don’t stop there.
Step 3: Get to the Business Reasons
Now connect those surface issues to business outcomes. Ask:
- “How long has this been a problem?”
- “What have you tried to do about it?”
These questions uncover the cost of inaction, such as revenue loss, missed opportunities and reduced efficiency. Prospects begin to realize the impact, not just the inconvenience.
Step 4: Make It Personal
This is where many salespeople fall short. Business pain matters—but personal pain moves people.
Ask:
- “How is this impacting you personally?”
- “What kind of pressure is this creating for you or your team?”
- “How much is this costing you in terms of stress, time or opportunity?”
When a vice president or other senior leader realizes the issue could affect their bonus, reputation or career trajectory, they stop evaluating a product and start seeking relief.
Step 5: Test for Commitment
Before jumping into solutions, make sure the prospect is ready to act.
Ask:
- “Is this something you’re committed to solving now?”
- “What happens if nothing changes?”
If they’re not ready, it might not be a fit or the pain hasn’t gone deep enough yet. Either way, knowing now saves you from months of false hope.
A Key Tool: Presumptive Questions
Presumptive questions help prospects visualize a better future while gently guiding them toward your solution. For example:
- If you had a structured plan for daily new business development activities, what would that do for your team’s results?
These kinds of questions encourage prospects to consider what’s possible without you pitching it first.
Don’t Forget the Intangibles
Not all costs are financial. Reputation damage, low morale, stalled career growth and even mental well-being are real pain points. Great salespeople know how to unearth these gently, without being pushy or judgmental.
From Conversation to Commitment
Uncovering a prospect’s pain isn’t about manipulation—it’s about illumination. You’re helping them see the full picture. When done well, this process builds clarity, urgency and, most importantly, trust.
As sales leaders, don’t just train your teams to push. Coach them to ask the right questions, navigate the maze of pain and become trusted advisors, not just vendors.
Whether you’re a C-suite executive building a growth-focused culture or a seasoned producer looking to level up, feel free to reach out. We’d be happy to share tools and frameworks to help you lead sales conversations that drive real results.

Jim Marshall is the founder of Sandler Training of Tampa Bay, which provides sales and management training and coaching to high-achieving companies and individuals.
Contact him at 813.287.1500 or [email protected].












