For men, speaking out about mental health is now a life or death situation

According to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, since 2008, suicide has ranked as the 10th leading cause of death for all ages in the United States. In 2016, suicide became the second-leading cause of death for people 10-34 and the fourth leading cause for those 35-54.

Although men and women both suffer from mental illness, men are a lot less likely to seek help and often struggle in silence for years. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, men die by suicide 3.54 times more often than women. Fighting depression is difficult and there is no question that it can be hard to talk about; for men, ultimately, it is shame and fear that prevents them from seeking treatment.

Research tells us men receive messages from childhood through adulthood that discourages them from ever letting anyone know how they feel or that they need help. Because of this, there are many misconceptions about depression that make it difficult for men to talk to others or take charge of their own mental health.

Three of the biggest myths that get between men and their mental health:

1. Depression isn’t real: Depression is a real medical condition that can affect your body, thoughts, emotions and behaviors. It’s different from normal sadness in that it consumes your everyday life and interferes with your ability to work, eat, sleep and have fun. The feelings of being helpless, hopeless and worthless that you experience when depressed can be intense.

2. Feeling depressed means you are weak: Suffering from depression has nothing to do with your personal strength. It is a serious health condition that millions of men struggle with each year and it can happen to anyone. Men need to know that mental illness is a disease, not unlike heart disease or cancer, and if left undiagnosed or untreated, it can be fatal.

3. Real men don’t ask for help: Ignoring depression doesn’t make it go away. Consulting a professional who has more knowledge of the illness and treatment options is the smartest thing someone suffering can do. Talking to a therapist is a proven treatment option for depression.

Reaction to talking about mental illness can be unforgiving and negative for most men. Men who are vocal about any kind of mental health concern can be dismissed as weak, flawed and even broken by their peers and family. Because of this reaction, the stigma is very real, leaving this group with the fear of losing the three things that matter most to them—their family, friends and career.

So what will it take to break the stigma associated with men and mental illness? It starts with men acknowledging their depression and then making important changes in their life to manage it. It takes men willing to speak out and share their stories of recovery and lived experience to help change the discussion from one that condemns and diminishes those suffering to one of empathy and support. Finally, I believe is takes men to understand that addressing mental illness is not weakness—it takes courage, strength, and hard work—and these are the qualities of strong people.

Talking about mental health today is not just a moment, it’s a movement. Every man needs to be part of it.

Ian Adair is a recognized expert in leadership, fundraising and nonprofit management; and a sought-after speaker for nonprofit conferences around the country. He is the executive director of the Gracepoint Foundation, the philanthropic arm of Gracepoint, which impacts the lives of more than 25,000 individuals in our community each year who seek mental health and addiction services. To learn more, visit gracepointfoundation.org.

You May Also Like

Habits of salespeople who thrive during times of economic uncertainty

Are we in the midst of – or are about to enter – a period of economic uncertainty? Who knows? But some high-achieving salespeople don’t just survive hard times – they create new “personal best” performance levels during potential down cycles in their business. How do they do it?  In a new white paper, the

Four big takeaways to grow your business

Every year, more than 1,000 of the world’s top sales, leadership and management professionals gather in Orlando for what we call the Sandler Sales & Leadership Summit, where we network, share ideas, celebrate each other’s successes and participate in sessions led by top Sandler training professionals from the United States and around the world. The

The Etiquette of Enthusiasm

Have you ever had an idea so strong you felt like you could not wait to share it? It seems most of us will agree, publicly at least, that we don’t like a “Donnie Downer” (surely you can appreciate the reason we don’t say “Debbie Downer”…), and yet very rarely do we think our enthusiasm

Is your selling process aligned with your buyer’s journey?

What process do your buyers follow before deciding to buy?  Regardless of the person’s title, product, service or industry, we can map out a clear progression from the time a prospect is considering a purchase until the contract is signed and payment is made. The stages of the buyer’s journey that salespeople need to understand

Other Posts

The etiquette of receiving difficult feedback professionally

You might agree that most unsolicited feedback is perceived as criticism. And, with that in mind, you also may agree that it takes constructive, useful feedback to grow. So, what happens when you receive an idea, criticism, feedback or a “You know, you really should …”? It is important to realize most people—not all—absolutely do

5 metrics to include in your goal-setting playbook for the new year

The first month of the year is a classic time for business owners, and sales professionals, to identify and focus on their most important personal, and professional, goals. We’ve noticed, though, that the goal-setting behavior of an organization’s leaders during the month of January tends to have the biggest bottom-line impact on the year, as

How to finish the year strong

The holiday season is already upon us and you might be wondering: “Where did 2022 go?” Maybe you and your company had a great year, blowing through your billing projections and setting revenue records. Or you might be asking yourself: “What went wrong and how do I prevent it from happening again?” But, before you

The importance of pre-qualification

If you’re in sales, sales management or business development, here’s a reality check for you: Are you counting on closing a deal or projecting income from an opportunity that isn’t fully qualified? Whenever we ask sales professionals this powerful question, we often hear an awkward silence in response. Sometimes that silence is because the person,